Big Time Lies
by Kailynn Sanchez
Summary: About lies that the boys spread around about each other and themselves to make/break their careers. Minor slash-iness. *Very* minor cargan.
1. Chapter 1

**my first slash series... hope you like it!**

**disclaimer: really? i. do. not. own. big. time. freaking. rush.**

* * *

It was tonight. The first concert, _ever_. I had to do this perfectly.

Glancing at the clock again, I let out a heavy sigh. It was only 2 in the morning, and I hadn't even fallen asleep for a few minutes last night.

I got up and flipped on the light, forgetting that James was still asleep in the bed next to mine.

"Dammit, Kendall!" He rolled over onto his stomach and pulled a pillow over his head. "What the hell? I'm trying to sleep so I'm not crabby for the concert."

The clock had only ticked by two minutes. This night was going to take forever.

"What's wrong with you?" James asked again.

"I can't sleep. I don't know why, I guess I'm just anxious about tonight."

"What do you want _me_ to do about it? I won't be any good if you don't turn off the damn light and let me sleep!"

I just looked at the floor sheepishly. "I don't know. You're usually good at calming people down."

"Go. To. Sleep. If you don't… let me just say that you _don't_ want to know what I'll do to you if you don't go to sleep."

I felt so wrong inside. Like, I'd lost my stomach. It just felt so weird in my gut to have those words thrown at me so viciously.

James groaned and lifted his head. "You okay?"

I just looked at him. His sandy-brown hair was sticking up on the left side, making him look like a deranged lunatic. His brown eyes were looking me over carefully, trying to find an explanation without me needing to say anything.

I remembered when we were only 9 years old. We were so carefree then. We didn't have any complicated responsibilities, like we do today.

He looked almost the same as he did, with the shaggy brown hair and cautious smile that would draw people in unintentionally. He had those smooth features – almost feminine.

Five minutes have gone by, now.

James got out of his bed and came over to me, arms stretched out and offering a hug.

I put my arms around him, not really putting my full heart into the hug like I usually did. I guess it was just my anxiety getting the best of me.

Suddenly, my legs collapsed from under me, and I fell fully into James' arms. He lugged me onto _his_ bed, even though mine was closer.

Then he lie down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders in a brotherly way. "Just go to sleep. No Sand-Man-Deceiver can resist the 'Arms of James.'"

Honestly, I tried to fall asleep. I really did. But something in my gut just told me to stay awake.

I let my head rest on his shoulder. I felt his fingers run gently through my shaggy blonde hair.

Suddenly, he just pushed me away. "Go. Just go get in your own bed."

"But I-"

"It's too hard for me. Just go." He flipped over onto his side, his back towards me.

"James?" I asked once I was in my own bed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing… it's just… nothing."

"James, tell me. You're my best friend."

He rolled over so that he was facing me. "Kendall… promise not to tell anyone?"

"Of course."

"I'm… I'm gay, and I'm trying to get over it. But with you there… it was just too hard. I'm sorry."

Oh. Wow.

I just stared at him for a while.

"Kendall?" he asked.

"Have you ever…" My voice was shaky. "Wanted… me?"

"No. Not you, or Logan, or Carlos. Just other people."

"Like who?"

"No one you know. Trust me. I just… I wanted to get the urge out of me before the concert… but it wasn't working."

"Really?" I asked. "I didn't notice much."

"Seriously? Because I don't want the tabloids to find out."

"James, your secret is safe with me."

He let out a relieved sigh. "Thank you, so much."

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! i won't post the next chapter until i have 5 reviews. if you want more of this, then _review_! please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**i want to make a few things clear.**

**1. i ask for reviews because if people aren't going to read this story, i'm not going to keep posting.**

**2. i don't know what the relationships are going to be, yet. i might throw in some OC's. no clue yet.**

**DISCLAIMER: i own nothing mentioned in this chapter or, frankly, anything except for the plot. i _do_ wish i owned James, though. darn...**

* * *

POV: James Diamond

At least I finally told someone. It was killing me inside and I knew that Kendall would understand… hopefully.

"I just… can't believe that you'd keep this from us," Kendall said, still lying on his bed trying to fall asleep.

"I didn't want things to be awkward." I got up and turned off the light. "I didn't want you to think that I'd come after you in the middle of the night and try to strip you down or anything like that."

He closed his eyes. "I guess that was for the best. I really had no idea that you were gay. You don't show it at all."

"Seriously? I thought you and the guys didn't want to say anything about it and be wrong."

"Nope. No idea. For me at least. I don't know about the other two."

I sighed and snuggled under the covers on my bed, not his. It was killing me not to be in bed with some guy, but I had to do it to save this band.

"You understand, right?"

"Understand what?"

"That I'd never try to do anything to you, or Carlos, or Logan."

"I know. It just changes everything, now." He was quiet for a while after that.

I rolled over onto my left side to look at him. He was asleep. I had succeeded.

_**

* * *

**_

The next week, I was feeling so much better since I had confided in Kendall. It felt good to know that I could trust someone to not let my secret loose.

I was wrong.

The weird looks people on the streets had been giving me were because of this weekend's cover of _Life_ magazine. I hadn't seen it yet, so I didn't know.

**JAMES DIAMOND – IS HE GAY? SEE DETAILS INSIDE**

I flipped through the glossy pages and found the story on me. I really thought I could trust Kendall, but I guess I was wrong. I can't believe that he'd spill my biggest secret to the tabloids and break my trust with him.

_An insider with the name of Logan Mitchell leaked to the press that one of his best friends wasn't as straight as you might think he is. "I was listening to James and Kendall talking in the middle of the night, and James said that he was gay," Logan spills. "It scared me that we were sharing the same apartment, and even more scared for Kendall, who shares a room with him."_

So it was _Logan_. That little devil…

_James, if you're reading this, you opened your mouth at the wrong time and in the wrong place. "The walls are almost paper-thin between our rooms, so it's not hard to hear things that go on. It was just probably anxiety for the next night's concert, and that's why I was up, too. I didn't know that they were playing truth-or-secret next door."_

I threw the magazine down and ran back to 2J. Why would Logan do this to me?

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: me no own anything.

* * *

**

POV: Logan Mitchell

James, James, James. I always knew there was something wrong with him. I just could never lay my finger on it. I never discussed it with the other guys because I didn't want to accuse James of something that wasn't true. He's still my best friend, even if I can't trust him exactly as much as I used to.

I flopped down on the couch and just stared at the ceiling, wondering what I should do about this whole "James" thing.

James came, or rather, ran into the apartment. He saw me sitting there and threw a magazine at me. "What the hell, Logan?"

"I-"

"Man, I thought we were friends. But I guess the band isn't as important to you as it is to me."

"James-"

"Look, I'm not gonna come after you or Carlos or anyone in the Palmwoods. They all know me too well and I'm not going to risk it. I'm not a predator."

"Can I-"

"This is my only shot to reach my dreams. This is my only chance. Doesn't that mean _anything_ to you? You always wonder why I'm so narcissistic. It's because I try to hide all evidence that I've slept with another guy! I try to cover it up! I try to go out with girls, but it's not the same!"

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, blowing my top.

James just stared at me, shock written all over his face.

I stood up and walked to him. "I was just scared, okay? I heard you say that you never wanted me or Kendall or Carlos, but I thought you were just telling that to Kendall to get him to stop worrying about it. I didn't know that you really meant it." I put my hands on his shoulders.

He swallowed and looked me right in the eyes. I could see right through them. He really didn't want to be gay anymore. I saw that he would give up love forever if he couldn't find the light in women.

"James." God, I really didn't want to tell him, but I had to. "I'm…"

"You're what?"

"I'm gay, too. I just told the tabloids that you were gay to get most of the pressure off my back. I mean, you look gayer than I do, so-"

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"No, James. I just thought that if I pinned something on you, I would look better. I didn't know that you were actually trying to go straight again."

He gave me a sweet little half-smile that made me go weak inside. "Do you think… we could…?"

"What?" I asked, not sure where he was going with that question.

"We could just tell the other guys that we're gay, and just leave it at that?"

"With each other?"

"Yeah. We don't actually have to be with each other, but we could just tell them that we are so they can rest easy."

Carlos came in the apartment. "Gustavo want to talk to you-" Then he saw James, and whapped him in the back of the head. "You bastard! Logan's _mine_!"

I felt my face to red.

"Logan?" Carlos asked slowly. "Why are you with James? You know we're together."

"Love triangle?" I asked weakly.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! more reviews - more updates!**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: me no own big time rush.

* * *

**

POV: Carlos Garcia

"What?" I asked. "You can't be with James! If people see you with him, they'll think he's been with you this whole time!"

"God dammit, you saw the article, too?" James threw up his hands and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Well," Logan said. "We could make those yaoi videos and post them on YouTube."

"No," I said quickly. "I don't want you kissing James."

"How are we gonna stand to live with each other without getting some sort of desire?"

"I don't know. You're the smart one, _you_ figure it out."

"Wait… didn't you say that Gustavo had to see us?"

"Yeah."

"Well we'd better go before he splits the band before we do," James said.

When we got to Rocque Records, Kendall was already there. Stupid Kendall without any relationship problems. Stupid Jo for moving here.

We all sat down in Gustavo's office. Kelly was perched by his shoulder like she always was.

"Dogs," Gustavo began this lecture like every other one. "Due to a recent turn of events, I'm going to have to make some changes in the band."

"Like what?" Kendall asked.

"Well, I'm going to have to replace one of you." He gestured out to a hallway and guess who came out.

Wayne-Wayne. And he was all dressed in his bad-boy get-up.

"James, Wayne-Wayne is replacing you."

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEWWW!**


	5. Chapter 5

**i'd have to say that this is my favorite chapter so far. enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: why do we need to put these? we don't own _anything._**

* * *

**POV: James Diamond**

Great. I sighed and stood up, leaving them all in the studio.

I set out on the streets of LA, not really caring what happened to me anymore. I just wanted to die. Having all the tabloids across the country saying I was gay was one thing. Having my dreams crushed was another.

I heard thunder above me, and rain started pouring down. I was soaked – but I didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. I didn't care if I got hit by a bus and died. Hmm… that actually sounded like a good idea at the moment.

Watching traffic run across the busy streets, I thought about when I would run out in front of something. With the rain, I hardly noticed the tears streaming down my cheeks.

"James!" The voice was distant, but I heard it. I looked to my right and saw Kendall running towards me. I still had time to step into the street if I wanted to.

I watched the cars racing past me, coming from the left. I walked out into the street; eyes clenched shut, and kept walking.

The next thing I knew, I tripped on the small platform in the middle of the street. I hadn't gotten hit.

"James!" Kendall was still running towards me. I didn't want anyone right now. Just me and Death.

Taking a step in the other side of the street came next. A big semi was coming, and they can't always stop very fast. I just wanted to get this over with. Let go of my life.

"JAMES!"

I didn't want to listen to his voice anymore. He was a lot closer, but I just stood there in the middle of the street, waiting for everything to go black and never come back again.

Someone grabbed me around my waist, pulling me to the concrete platform dividing the street. "James, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

I saw the semi pass us, and I stared at it, just wishing that it had hit me. But it was too late now. I couldn't ever get a good chance like that back ever again.

"James, why are you being like this? You can try to make it again. It's not over for you."

"Kendall…" I moaned. More tears streaked down my face. "Go away."

"No! Dammit, you could've died!"

"I want to, Kendall…"

"No, you don't. You aren't thinking straight. You do _not_ want to kill yourself. You've still got a good seventy-plus years in you. I'm not gonna let you cut it short. You have a future. You've got a lot coming for you. You just have to let it get there." He held me close to him and let me cry into his shoulder.

I just let it all go. I needed this band – I _wanted_ it. It was my only ticket to the fame that I'd always wanted. But now that Wayne-Wayne was replacing me… I didn't want any of it anymore. I just wanted to greet Death with arms wide open.

_"Well I just heard the news today. It seems my life is gonna change,_" I sang. "_I closed my eyes, began to pray. And tears of joy streamed down my face_."

Kendall started singing with me. "_With arms wide open, under the sunlight. Welcome to this place. I'll show you everything. With arms wide open, with arms wide open_."

I always knew that we'd harmonized great together. But with me laying in his arms and us singing together… it just felt all different. It sounded different.

Logan and Carlos came up beside us. They always hadn't been the fastest runners, but at least they cared enough to come after me.

"What happened?" Carlos asked.

"James went all suicidal on us, but I got him just in time," Kendall explained briefly.

I felt Logan's hand on my shoulder, comforting me. Tears were still flowing from my eyes, but I felt better inside. They really did care enough to come all this way to make sure that I didn't kill myself.

"James, what's wrong with you?" Carlos asked. "Do you even know what day it is?"

"It's September 18th," I answered.

"Oh. I thought it was April 1st. I guess Gustavo really did kick you out of the band, then."

A whole new round of sobs came on. I just couldn't take it anymore.

* * *

**R&R!**


	6. Chapter 6

**last chapter! Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: i don't own anything, but i wish i owned james... he's be useful...**

* * *

POV: Kendall Knight

Why would James do this to us? He's our best friend, and we need each other more than any of us know.

I just kept holding him; he needed me. "James," I whispered. "It's okay. It isn't the end of the world."

"Yes it is…" he sobbed.

"Carlos, Logan, just leave," I said to them. "He just needs to be alone and not crowded."

"Okay," Logan said. "Call me if something goes wrong."

The two of them started walking back towards Rocque Records.

"Kendall," he said. "Why?"

"I guess he just saw what everyone else in this godforsaken country saw in _Life_ magazine. That certain article about a certain someone."

"It's not fair… he can't discriminate me like that!"

"I know, James. It's not right."

"Then why is he doing it?"

"Well, Gustavo's a turd."

"_Oh, he's such a turd, oh yeah, a giant turd_."

"That's _my_ song. You don't get to sing it."

"It's because I'm gay, isn't it?"

"James, the line is 'it's because I'm _black_', not gay."

"Whatever." His tears stopped for a while.

I just stayed quiet for a while. I didn't want to say anything that would set him off again.

"I think I'm okay, now," James said, shifting his weight and preparing to stand up.

"Okay." I pulled him up and hugged him.

"Thanks, Kendall," he said into my shoulder. "Just… for everything."

"No problem."

"_Ooh, James! Is Kendall one of your many victims?_" a voice behind us said.

I turned around and came face-to-face with a paparazzi.

"_How long has this little thing been going on?_" he asked.

"It's nothing," I said. "He's not gay, either."

**

* * *

**

POV: James Diamond

Wow. Hearing those words come from Kendall's mouth made me almost believe it.

"_What do you mean, he's not gay?_" the paparazzi asked.

"It was just a prank. James ticked off Logan a few days ago. Logan just wanted to get back at him."

"_Well then. I guess I don't have a story._"

"I guess you don't."

When Kendall and I got back to the Palmwoods, I was much more confident. I saw a couple of the guys that I had been with, but I didn't get that urge that I usually had when I saw them.

Jo came up to Kendall and kissed his cheek. "Hi, bye." And she walked away.

I stared at her. This feeling came over me… it was strange… but I kind of liked it.

The Jennifers passed by, and I stared at them, too. I couldn't help it. I loved that warm gushy feeling that seeing women sent through my gut.

So _this_ was what being straight felt like…

* * *

**Well, like i said, that was the last chapter! THE END!**


End file.
